For those of you who noticed that I’ve been missing on here this week, there was an unexpected trip to Florida for me to spend time with family.
I am incredibly grateful for all of the love and support that I’ve experienced this week.
There’s honestly, so much good in this world.
I’m back today to chat about my monthly resolutions.
For those of you who don’t remember my resolution plan you can read about it here!
Basically, one new thing every month to create small habits that I want to cultivate in my life.
Last month, I focused on my finances. Doing my best to create a sustainable budget for myself. My physical reminder for that goal was to not spend any money except on groceries or gas. I did allow myself a $5.00 stipend that I didn’t use for the first two weeks. I ended up using all $10.00 to get tipsy on Valentine’s Day. I followed my rules strictly for the majority of the month thanks to willpower and amazing friends. I did break my agreement twice. Once to buy a bourbon and another time to buy hot wings. I blame both of those things on my period. I attempted to break it two other times, once to dinner with my roommate scott, he ended up picking up the bill like an angel. Another time I ordered a slice of pizza and the waiter gave it to me for free.
I tell you all of that for two reasons: 1. I believe in being open about the process and about little failures. 2. Knowing that I was going to have to confess this to you kept me from spending several times!
I enjoyed challenging myself in this way, however, I did learn a lesson. I don’t do well with absolutes. Giving myself the restriction of not spending money was a fun goal, but, once the month was over, I felt a binge shopping trip coming on. I did go shopping and kept it balanced. But, I was pushing down the ravenous hunger of spending that I hadn’t even been experiencing prior to the break. Learning this lesson about myself will definitely be affecting the way I set things up for future months.
Speaking of future months, here is the plan for March:
Something that I’ve come to realize about myself is that I’m really good at using logic to avoid feeling pain and/or fear. I can reason my way out of negative emotions faster then they can creep into my brain.
Part of me likes that. It’s preserved me in a lot of ways and it has served me at points in my life. However, there’s a deep piece of myself that doesn’t get seen very often. I want to work on colliding these two pieces of my personality so they can co-exist. I wrote a blog post about this a long time ago, you can read it here.
I’m also not one to sit alone with my thoughts very often. I’m much more comfortable moving and doing and not being alone. So, I want to spend some time focusing on my inner self every day.
The monthly plan is to take 30-minutes alone every morning and every night. Away from technology and other people completely. I intend to write during this time and to just sit. I hope to spend time listing my fears and the things that make me sad. Not with the intention of living with them forever, but, with the intention of acknowledging them and their existence.
Also, in line with my intentions for the month I hope to take a restorative yoga class once a week as well as to go on a solo-walk once a week.
What does your month look like?
with love and stillness,