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The Unattainable Goal. {Asheville, NC Boudoir Photographer}

I would really like to be perfect.

It’s the part of me that wakes up everyday driven to be better than the day before. The part that is always spinning wheels, that is perpetually working on being better, and the part that can’t remember the last time I took an afternoon nap.
I’m not quite as concerned about appearing perfect. But, in actually being perfect.

At any given moment I’m analyzing and working on every single area of my life.

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I’ve spent too much time awarding myself medals for being busy. For not sitting. For not experiencing peace.

I’ve worn restlessness like a badge of honor.

The problem with perfection is that it doesn’t exist. I can strive for it. Try to manifest some form of it. But, it will always result in a generic version of the dream.

Furthermore, let’s say we are able to reach it at all. What then?
We become a shiny, plastic, shell of a person. Someone who’s unable to relate to another being.
Who makes others feel inadequate by their very existence.
Is that a successful life at all?

With that in mind, wouldn’t perfection, in its very nature, be imperfect?

So, if not for perfection, than what am I working towards?
To not work for anything is to waste a life.
But, to constantly be working towards the unattainable…

It could be interpreted as just as much of a waste.

As I figure out what to work towards, I’ve had to analyze what I value.

I came up with three solid answers.

1. Genuine and loving relationships with other people.
2. Experience. {A hunger to do more. To see the world. To breathe in new places. To dance. To laugh. To play. }
3. Peace and Happiness. {a peace with myself. health. mindfulness. grace. gratitude.}

I sat in a tea shop today. While I allowed these thoughts to rumble in my brain. I peered over and saw a sign with a tibetan blessing written on it. Here is what it said:

“May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.”

Creating a life centered around these three values, being graceful when I fall short, and speaking that blessing over my life and others.

Well, I guess that’s a start.

with love and imperfection,

Sarajane.

 

Donna Dobbins McCall - October 29, 2013 - 7:15 pm

Hard to comment when you said it all so “perfectly”. 🙂

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