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The Trouble with Authenticity.

There was a time in my life (aka the majority of it) where I thought that I had to always be happy. I felt like admitting negative emotions meant that I was a negative person. That I had become the type of person who allowed their circumstances to bring them down, which, I always saw as a quality that I didn’t want to possess.

I felt like admitting frustration, exhaustion, or even sadness meant that I would be less valuable as an individual and quite frankly, a bummer.

As I have grown and developed I’ve come to realize that the people that I want to surround myself with the most are the authentic ones. The people that wipe away at the mask when I ask them how they’re doing and they tell me the truth. It’s certainly a blend of positivity and authenticity that I seek in the people who share my life with me, but, it’s not a false positivity that I crave. It’s the real deal.

With that in mind I began the journey several years ago of always speaking the truth. If asked my opinion or asked my state of being, I committed to speaking truthfully.

As I’ve grown into this I’ve come to realize that the easy way to feel like I’m being authentic is to only speak of the negative things in my life. It has felt like countering the natural response of being too positive with it’s opposite was the best way to share genuinely. What I’ve learned is that it as a good way for me to break the habit of feeling as though I have to be happy and pleasant all of the time, but, it’s not total authenticity.

If I neglect all of the beautiful things in my life when sharing my state of being, it’s just as inauthentic as neglecting the negative.

It’s imperative for myself that I acknowledge the beautiful and the trying in every step of my process.
Being genuine does not have to look like a throwing up of my negative experiences, rather, it’s a beautiful mixture of the light and the dark of my life.

Everyday and every being is a mixture of beauty, difficulty and the ultimate in complexity.
It’s only a benefit to myself and to others if I take the time to acknowledge the existence of all of my own contradictions.

with love,

Sarajane.

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