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Don’t let my cheerful disposition fool you.

Don’t let me cheerful disposition fool you dear readers.

I’m not one to pretend that heart ache doesn’t exist.
I live with a full understanding that my heart has been chipped at with harmful words and carelessness.
I also know that I have done my fair share of chipping as I’ve climbed the twisty and uncomfortable mountain of self-acceptance. I’ve left a trail of harmful words and actions in the weeds with my past insecurities.

What I’m saying is, I’m not delusional.
We are humans and often we are careless.

Sometimes we’re careless with our own hearts and sometimes with the hearts of others.

As I feel myself clenching onto my own heart so tightly, doing my best to preserve it’s already injured exterior, I am aware that my fear does no one any favors.

Holding onto hurt is never the way to heal. At least in my completely unprofessional opinion.

I’ve spent the majority of my life being honest about the pain that I’ve experienced, sharing openly when asked about the ways in which I’ve been emotionally injured and doing my best to not allow myself to live in a place of darkness.

I choose carefully to not use my sadness as an anchor or a weapon.

This doesn’t mean that my sadness doesn’t get it’s time. I have shed my fair share of tears in a crowded coffee shop because my heart was just too heavy that day. But, I believe in acknowledgement and understanding. Using heart ache as a stepping stone to self improvement.

We are all wounded and it can be tempting to use our wounds as an excuse to feel worthless, to be frozen, but, at least today I’m going to allow myself the freedom to bloom. To live in a way that shows the world that no amount of harm done to me will ever hold me back. No amount of hurt will keep me from contributing love and light into a world that so desperately needs it.

with love,

Lauren Stickels - May 11, 2015 - 10:42 pm

Never stop shining so bright! I love basking in your light and you inspire me to shine mine too. Xoxo

Elisa Schulman - May 12, 2015 - 1:07 pm

This is beautiful. The words are inspiring. Just reading this right now, has lifted my spirit. Thank you for posting this.

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