Today is my 30th birthday.
Part of me feels ready for it. Like, I’ve been waiting to turn 30 my entire life. Playing business woman as a child and daydreaming about emotional security. 29 treated me well, it’s not to be forgotten. At times I felt tossed around or rushed. But, also like it was a constant process of being refined. Yeah, I’m looking forward to 30. I think I’ll figure out money, I’ll deal with my subconscious hang-ups and I’ll learn to say, “no, thank you.”
I want to live for uplifting people around me. Helping them to see their strength. I want to see more of the world. Both with my partner and alone. I’d like to be patient and accepting of criticism. I want to live in constant awareness of my resilience. I want to press forward in spite of my fear.
I want to feel at ease in partnership. I want to make time available to the people that I love. To the faithful & trusted people in my life. I want to explore with fervor.
I want to expand on my fears. To not feel intimidated by their existence.
Here are a few ways that I think my 30’s will be different than my 20’s:
1. I’ll speak openly about menstruation.
I’m done with the days of pretending like I don’t bleed or like PMS is something to be ashamed of. I want to embrace the phases of my body and appreciate all that it does for me.
2. I’ll prioritize financial security.
“Treat yo Self” was basically the model of my 20’s and I don’t regret it. I feel ready for a savings account that feels like it’s meant for more than just my next trip. With that in mind I think I’ll…
3. I’ll prioritize profit over being busy.
I love to work and I’ve never had a difficult time finding work to be done. But, I think my 30’s will be the time in my life where I feel less inclined to stretch my capacity muscles and more inclined to make sure I’m charging a fair wage for my efforts.
4. I’ll keep my circle small & intentional.
I’m blessed with a lot of lovely people in my life. But, that has often kept me from making time for the few that are my very closest. I think my 30’s will be for narrowing my focus and investing in the deep relationships that I have already.
5. I’ll build something.
A table, a desk, a couple of businesses? All of those?
6. I’ll speak without fear of sounding like a bitch.
I’ve spent a lot of my life working on being kind. I don’t regret that, but, on occasion that looks more like being a people pleaser and therefore sacrificing my own free time. I think I’m ready to start speaking my truth even if it’s awkward or potentially doesn’t make me look like a nice person. Honesty > Politeness.
7. I’ll actually buy furniture.
I’ve traditionally loved finding free furniture on the road side. Until recently everything that outfitted my home was purchased on craigslist or given to me or found for free. I think it’s time for me to invest in my home. To make it somewhere that I really enjoy spending time.
8. I’ll eat in more.
I’d like eating out to feel like a special occasion. Something that I do to spend quality time with a dear friend. Not just because I need food to sustain myself and I’m too busy to drive home, cook and clean and still get back to work before bedtime.
9. I’ll go to therapy.
Because, duh, we should all be going to therapy.
10. I’ll give the middle finger to the fears I have surrounding happiness & success.
Because, we all deserve happiness and success is what we say it is. Having good things may mean that we have more to lose, but, better to have experienced it and lost it then to have lived a life in fear of the beautiful.
with love and turning 30,