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On Being Content… {Asheville, NC}

The bar is nothing to write home about.
Well, not at first glance.
The outside is concrete and easily blends into its surroundings.
The windows are barred and the decorations are more then you’d expect.
The walls are lined with framed images of famous people and tinsel fleur de lis hang from the ceiling.

Walking into the crowded room I scan for a familiar face and I light up when I see it.
We grab a drink and sit in a booth together.
Talking of simple things and life. Introducing new friends to old friends.
As people come to join us kisses and hugs are exchanged.

You’d think we hadn’t seen each other in years instead of just a day or even a few hours.
Conversation is shared as a group and then broken down into several tiny conversations.
People listen and share and receive openly.
Drinks are passed around the booth for tasting,
laughter is shared and hands are held.
Watching us from the outside I imagine you’d see that something is there.
A tenderness towards one another.
A general appreciation for our existence shared together in whatever small way that may be.

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I’ve lived my life in a way that always looked forward.
I’m always planning the next five years or believed that whatever comes next is destined to be better then the past.

I can even remember sitting in front of the eiffel tower and planning the next trip that I would take.
Learning to be still this month has been a challenge. But, it’s allowing me to really breathe in my life as it is.

For potentially the first time in my existence, I’m content.
I’m happy to be where I am, with the people I’m here with, and without a concrete next step in place.

This is not to say there haven’t been times in my life where I should have felt the same.
I’ve lived my life with so many beautiful and dynamic souls.
I’ve shared love and tenderness with people no matter where I’ve lived.
But, I’ve not always been able to see what I had when I had it.

If I could do it again,
if I could see things as they were at the time,
if I could have learned to cherish them sooner,
then maybe those people would feel the appreciation that I feel for them right now.

But, better learned later then never that the simplest of beauties is true beauty after all.

with love,

Sarajane.

 

Cate Nunez Scales - March 25, 2014 - 7:39 pm

Beautifully put. I only learned in recent years to enjoy right here, right now. I fear I missed so much because of my eager mind!

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