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Insecurity Series Con… {Asheville, NC Photographer}

It’s been interesting to continue this project. I’ve not quite touched on the harder topics just yet. It’s been much more comfortable for me to skim the surface of the lighter ones. I’m hoping that next week I will allow myself to focus a little more on the things that scare me to talk about. For now, here’s what I’ve been sharing on facebook…

Boring. 

A lot of these insecurities don’t run deep. I carry them lightly and I can toss them out pretty easily. However, this one, well, I’ve held onto it for a long time.

I can remember being a kid and feeling as though everything I had to say was unnecessary. That I should just hold it in because it was ultimately meaningless.

I developed a bad habit of apologizing when I speak. A habit that I’ve almost broken. I still feel the need to preface when I’m going to talk for longer then normal out of fear that I’ll lose their interest mid-way through.

Even with the people I know enjoy conversations with me I feel highly aware of how much I speak and worry continuously about whether or not they wish I would just stop talking.

{**Note: Thank you Jonathan Bonchak for being my first guest star in this series. Also, thanks for making every person that you interact with feel important and interesting on a regular basis.**}

Boring. (1 of 1)

Inconsistent.I have a skill.
It’s a learned skill and I’m not sure at what point in life it became necessary.
But, I’m good at relating to people.

I love that skill.
I love people and it’s served me well both personally and professionally.

However, often, to do that I am showing people just one part of myself.
I can easily compartmentalize myself as a one-dimensional being.

The hippy, the fashion girl, the feminist, the silly girl, sexy, the tomboy, and it can go on and on.

This can leave me feeling disjointed internally when I forget to find time to be alone.
I learned at the beach that I need to be alone, completely alone to reconnect to my priorities away from other people. To pull out the core of myself and not just the relatable parts.

This has found itself here in the insecurity series because I worry about not being seen for who I really am. Past all of the nonsense and into the core of it all.

Past the interests and the clothes and onto the brave girl who just wants to share love and be part of a revolution.

Inconsistent

Profile.

I’ve always had a thing about my profile. It’s not my favorite. Also, when I say, “It’s not my favorite” I mean I’ve cringed at photos featuring my profile for years.

I think it has to do with the way my features are exaggerated. In my mind I think of my face looking much like a fish. Big eyes and fish lips. I’ve also always been strange about the size and shape of my nose.

It’s a neat process to look at this photo and think about how I would feel if this face belonged to someone else. If this profile was not my own would I compliment it? Would I think it was beautiful?

I can’t remember the last time I looked at another person’s face in depth and thought it was anything less than that.

Profile. (1 of 2)

with love and insecurity,

Sarajane.

Matt Mitchell - May 23, 2014 - 6:19 pm

Great work as always! I really enjoy reading your posts. Keep up the good work. True beauty is: raw, pure, unashamed, and seeks beauty in others. You certainly do all of these things. True beauty SJ, true beauty!

Allan - July 1, 2014 - 8:57 am

.

hello!!

Mindy Oh - July 4, 2015 - 12:46 am

you are so beyond beautiful (not only on the outside, but still DEFINITELY on the outside). You are the best kind of beauty. <3

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