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I’m Afraid.

With it being Halloween and all, I decided to give some thought to my fears.
I wanted to dive deeply into them and acknowledge what things in life are holding me back and also which fears are propelling me forward.

Care to know?
Keep scrolling…

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I’m afraid of being stagnant.
Of allowing myself to rot in my lack of creation and live a life still and uninspired.
I’m afraid of growing callous.
Of seeing pain, suffering and inequality and no longer allowing it to rest in my bones. No longer reaching out with my heart but holding it all close to myself out of convenience and ease of conscious.
I’m afraid of putting myself out there.
Of asking for the BIG dreams, of potentially learning that the things in which I hope for will never be a reality for me.
I’m afraid of losing my independence.
Of being asked to give up my dreams or dragging someone along on my ride to happiness.
I’m afraid of being alone.
Of longing for someone to share my days with and instead returning to an empty home with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.
I’m afraid of not living in my truth.
Of living life one compromise after another until one day I wake up and I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror.
I’m afraid of wasting time.
Of watching year after year go by without truly living in a way that makes me feel alive.
I’m afraid of the loss of laughter.
Of taking myself and this world too seriously and forgetting that none of it matters if we’re not having fun.
I’m afraid of losing hope.
Of losing faith in our ability as people to make a difference.

Mostly, I’m afraid of losing sight.
Of forgetting what my dreams, plans, and aspirations are.
Of allowing myself to get distracted and comfortable in a world that oppresses the innocent, in a life without creation, in a heart shielded to love, and a body that has stopped exploring.

What are your fears this Halloween?
What should we hold onto, what should we let go?

with love,

Sarajane.

 

 

Marsha Collins - November 1, 2014 - 3:09 pm

i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way…wish there was something i could say or do…take care of yourself…with love!!!

Oby Frank Arnold - November 1, 2014 - 11:43 pm

I read this as a jubilant post. There are several married opposites on this page, an the having that dual awareness and accepting it is an essential part of leaning how to cope.

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