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Action or Acceptance.

I don’t always have the answers, though sometimes I may feel like I do. I tend to believe things with confidence and speak about them definitively. I hope that doesn’t mislead you dear readers. I am-and most of us are- a being of immense variation. I bend and sway and move with the winds of life. I may believe something today, only to tweak that thought tomorrow.

I have a fear of sticking too intensely to my opinions. Much like a foot held in wet concrete for just a little too long I can’t imagine the result will help me to make progress. I once heard someone say that if your poem needs an introduction than it’s not a very good poem. I do feel the need to lead you into what I’m going to talk about with an attitude of humility and perhaps a bit of self-deprication, good thing this isn’t a poem.

Also, I want you to know that I think you’re quite perfect. Exactly as you are now and yesterday and 10 years from now. You are just right.

Now, let’s chat.


Are there things in your life that you think you should be doing differently? Things about yourself that you don’t like. Maybe, you aren’t eating as healthy as you’d like, maybe you spend more money than you make, maybe you keep getting yourself into a series of circumstances that don’t feel good to you. Perhaps you know exactly the steps you need to take to make them happen but you don’t feel motivated to take them or you’re currently filled more with excuses than energy.

I’m not here to give you tips for how to gain motivation. I’m not here to give you a pep talk. Maybe one of these days I’ll do that.

My plea for you now is to simply choose action  or acceptance.

So often we have something in our life that we feel doesn’t line up with society’s standards for being a successful human being. Yet, we don’t have the energy to make concrete moves toward that goal. Or, maybe we don’t even really want to change that habit at the moment.

If I’ve learned anything from my extensive years of yo-yo dieting it’s that you either want to do it or you don’t. You can’t make changes in your life that you don’t even want to make in the first place.

I’m going to be honest and say that I don’t care what you eat, what your finances look like, if you’re well-read, or if you are meeting any of the goals that you set up for yourself.

You’re valuable because you’re a human being. Period.

I find myself in conversations with people all of the time where they say, “I wish I was doing ___ but, I’m not and that makes me feel ____ about myself.”

What if we change that to the following sentence.

“I wish I was doing _____. So, I figured out that the reason I wasn’t doing that is ____ and so I’ve decided to _____.”

Here’s a more concrete example:

“I wish I was eating healthier and exercising more but, I’m not and that makes me feel like a terrible person who isn’t worthy of love and happiness.”

What if we change that to:

“I wish I was eating healthier and exercising more. So, I figured out that the reason I wasn’t doing that is that I also need it to be convenient. So, I’ve decided to commit to packing a healthy lunch the night before and just fitting in 15-minutes of exercise everyday until I have more time.”


“I wish I was eating healthier and exercising more but, I realized I wasn’t doing that because I actually have a lot more on my plate than that right now and I don’t actually feel like it’s my top priority. So, I decided to just not give myself a hard time until I’m ready to make it a priority again.”

There’s so much worse in the world than not meeting your goals. You are worthy of acceptance and you are worthy of positive change. It’s your choice which way you go.

But, I want to dissuade you from choosing the third option. Stop hating yourself for not doing things.

Just choose action or acceptance.
There’s no wrong answer and the answer can always change later.
But, whichever you choose remember that at least I think you’re quite perfect. Exactly as you are now and yesterday and 10 years from now. You are just right.

with love,




Tyler McCall - March 30, 2015 - 2:31 pm

Thank you for this.

Really Soft and Fluffy M&M Cookies - Meg Bollenback - April 8, 2015 - 11:45 am

[…] pretty things, or need ideas on how to express yourself, Sarajane’s your girl. This Action or Acceptance post from last Monday was lovely, helpful, and hit home with how I feel about many things going on […]

Christina Vandenbergh - April 8, 2015 - 12:14 pm

This is awesome, and ties in perfectly with a book I’ve been reading called the Gifts of Imperfection. I’ve been needing to hear this from another voice as well. Thank you!

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