I shared an article yesterday on my facebook page. It’s written by a man who is talking about pursuing a woman. It’s written beautifully and tugs at all of the right heart strings. This article brought up several things for me. First and foremost the hunger to be loved in that way. To have someone who wants nothing more than to really know me. To see me for everything that I am and to continue trying to see me as years go by.
Then came the deep shattering fear that that doesn’t exist at all. Or worse, that it does exist, just not for me.
Then, I realized that I’ve always been able to find what I need within myself.
Why should this be any different?
You can read his article here.
Below is a version of his article written to myself.
I would like to ask you out. I would ask you to coffee, to a fancy dinner, or out for a smooth bourbon.
Let’s grab a bourbon. You can take your time getting ready. I know that’s part of the fun for you. Try on as many dresses as you’d like. Wear red lipstick and chuckle at the way your lip prints look on the glass. You can drink the bourbon as slowly as you’d like. Savoring every sip as you do.
I would like to ask you out. To romance you. I know you’re not available. But, that’s ok, because your wounds and mine are the same. I’m not one to shy away from them. Rather, let’s acknowledge them and I’ll love that part of you just the same. Because, the rough is what creates the beauty and the sensitivity that I’m so enamored with.
One date will simply not do. I must see you again. To dig deeper this time.
Let’s take a walk together. I’ll ask you about your childhood and your biggest fears. The depths of my need to know you are endless.
If we’re lucky it will rain. At first we’ll be disappointed. You’ll worry about your hair. But, I’ll remind you that you’re never more beautiful then when you’re free. And we’ll dance.
We’ll laugh and play and move our bodies to the rhythm of the raindrops.
Then, we’ll lie down. Eyes closed and silent. Not afraid to be quiet. We’ll feel every drop of rain on our skin. We’ll really feel it.
I want to know what makes you feel alive. If you are loneliest when surrounded by people or at home by yourself. I want to know if you have a place you see yourself in 5-10-15 years. Or, if you’d rather see where the world takes you.
I want to know what you wear when no one is watching. Do you dress-up for your own satisfaction? Do you prefer a worn tank top and panties? I bet you wear your hair up. High on your head.
I want to see you. To memorize the curve leading from your waist to your hips. To know exactly how my hands fit in your waist. I want to gaze deeply at the curve in your back and the way your shoulders expose the delicacy within you. I want to run my hands along your legs and spend all day in bed with you.
I want to never stop seeing you. As your body changes along with your mind I want to continue to explore you in all of your layers.
Believing each to be just as captivating as the last.
I want to never stop surprising you, enjoying afternoon coffees with you,
and just like the bourbon and the rain…
I will savor every last drop of you.