I ran to the top of the tower. For as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to see the tops of buildings and watch the people and cars along the street below. To gaze at the grid of a city as if it were so far away that it could be pretend. The cars could be matchbox cars and the buildings just figures of what a real city may look like. I like to watch the people below and think of their lives. Where have they been? Where do they want to go? What is their most urgent concern?
Granada, Nicaragua was no different to me. I wanted a new perspective.
I ran to the top of the tower, unsure if the dampness of my skin and hair was from the shower I’d just taken or the sweat that was already beginning to pool.
I took a picture of myself and somehow despite the sweat, I felt beautiful.
I feel like myself when it’s warm out. Like I can exist honestly in my body. Like I can expand and tackle anything that comes my way.
As the cold air begins to take over the environment here in North Carolina, I am reminded that I feel differently in the cold. I feel constricted and tense. I want to curl up on the floor more often and ignore the obstacles that life throws my way.
I want to hide out until the weather turns warm again and wake up when the tulips do.
This year I’ve decided to really up my self-care game as a way to counter that experience.
I’m playing with skin care routines and taking baths more. I’m dry brushing my skin and I am taking my time with myself.
I could try to be the same person that I am in the summer. I could try to force myself to be excited about the cold and eager to knock a bunch of stuff out and go on grand adventures. But, the truth is, I’m OK with being a little less zealous. It’s time for me to relax and that’s not such a bad thing.