In many ways I’ve lived a very reactive life.
I react to people based on what mood they’re handing to me, I react to circumstances as they come, I react to each client individually, and I react to myself in relation to everything listed.
The beauty in this is that there’s little judgement placed on my experiences or people that’s been left over by another. I approach every one with fresh eyes. The harm is that it can be an inconsistent way to view the world. That inconsistency can blur the view that I have of myself.
Occasionally, I encounter someone who is grounded. There’s a solidity within them, a clear surety of self. They’re unwavering because they exist as they are at all times.
Actually, a lot of the time, these are the people that envy my ability to amass large groups of diverse friends. They may have a harder time appealing to the general public. But, the thing is, the friends that they exist with, they really know them. They know them as they are and that person isn’t changing tomorrow.
While my close ones could easily get confused by my varied interests or wave-like values. They come and go in patterns guided by whatever my mooon may be at the moment.
As an ever-going effort to seek balance in my life, I am thinking today about the desire to remain solid within myself. Hopefully while also approaching every person with fresh eyes and an open mind.
Taking my values and my sense of identity along with every interaction that I have. Knowing that not everyone will like them but, those that do will REALLY like them. Or, at least they’ll like me accurately.
Whether it’s a romantic interaction, a friendly one, or a professional one, it’s important that I contain my sense of self-knowledge and appreciation. That way, when someone rejects me, and the probability of that raises as we become our truest self, it won’t be shattering.
It will simply be an understanding that I’m not their cup of tea. But, it’s not that I taste bad, but, maybe they just prefer a more buttery green to my rich hibiscus.
This list was made more for myself and I almost didn’t include it in the blog post, but, to be transparent with my process I decided to throw it in. I made three lists. One of my core values, my strengths, and the things I love about myself. These are the grasping points that I hope to hold onto even though the world can cloudy my brain sometimes, I hope that I can remember at least these things ring true for me.
-People come first and everyone is valuable.
-Share your tenderness.
-Listen without judgement.
-Seeing people accurately.
-Sharing of myself and receiving others.
-Knowing my limits.
-Helping others to prioritize and problem-solve.
-Richly enjoying life.
-Listening and meaning it.
-Discipline balanced with self-care.
WHAT I LOVE:
-My ache to share kindness and love.
-How absurdly silly I can be.
-Being a mix of focused on other people but also internally focused as well.
-The way I savor people, coffee, bourbon, and life.
-My newly adapted take me or leave me attitude.
What about you?
Do you have characteristics or ideas that serve as anchors in a world that is constantly changing?
I’d love to hear about them.